Check out these zany 'air conditioners' for sale in Vancouver right now

Collins Dictionary defines air conditioner as "a machine which keeps the air in a building cool and dry."

These machines may technically meet that definition, but most aren't going to be much help in the heat wave B.C. is riding out right now. And let's be honest, these were (mostly) done in jest.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Kieran Mercer / Facebook Marketplace

Kieran Mercer's desk-fan-wooden-spoon-ice-cube combo may lack style, but it also lacks effectiveness. While it's listed under home improvement it's unlikely to live up to that promise.

However, at $350 it's more reasonably priced than many actual air conditioners, so there's that.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Roger Bissonnette / Facebook Marketplace

This slightly more advanced model uses some sort of rack to hold an ice pack right up against the fan cage. And with the ice pack at the top, the nice cool air will drift down into the air stream. Physics!

In his post, seller Roger Bissonnette notes there are four fan settings, and it turns, to really spread the cool air out.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Omar Tana Anastacio / Facebook Marketplace

This one raises a couple of questions. Well, really, just one. Where did Omar Tana Anastacio get all that snow?

While the seller claims the unit portable it really depends on how willing someone is to move two big buckets of ice.

To really drive home the "legitimacy" of this one, a brand is included: "ice ice baby".

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Joe Will / Facebook Marketplace

This is...actually kind of clever. And it works to some extent (at least one Vancouver Is Awesome staff member has built something similar, though worse).

Basically, once the lid is closed, it forms a bit of a wind tunnel with air getting quickly cooled as it passes through. And this one runs off a USB port and whatever is in your freezer that fits in the cooler.

Truly, something Red Green would be proud of.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Raelien Celestial / Facebook Marketplace

While a legitimate a/c unit, the cost of this one is what's eye-catching. For one, it's listed at a cool $100,000. But wait, there's more!

"Selling my portable AC unit. $100,000 plus your left kidney and first born child. Price is firm! No lowballs, no holds. First come first serve. Can deliver for an additional $1000. Comes from a pet-friendly, smoke-free home," writes Facebook user Raelien Celestial.

First-born adult children may want to be cautious with their parents if this ad is being talked about.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Ruben Charry / Facebook Marketplace

This is a totally legitimate Facebook marketplace ad. We're just mentioning it because at $20, this fridge is by far the most reasonable way of cooling your house out there from a financial standpoint. 

Also, as a long-term solution, maybe this isn't a great idea.

Facebook Marketplace is offering up some doozies to stay cool. By Ken Mi Nakano / Facebook Marketplace

This stock image of a bag of ice was also posted for a mere $999.

"Considering buying an AC? Why not go for a bag of clear Arctic Glacier premium ice instead. This model features flexible transparent design to indicate content levels," writes Ken Mi Nakano.

It's also described as lightly used... Buyer beware. 

For more legit ways to keep cool, try these.