Ah, the sun is a little lower in the sky and the crickets are chirping in the grass. It must be back to school time. In honour of the time of year, I have written this article in an easy Coles Notes study version. Its like getting an eight-week behaviour management course in less than 1,000 words.
The topic: Ten Easy Steps to Prevent Misbehaviour in Children:
1. Make sure that children eat every 2-4 hours. A hungry kid is a cranky kid. (A hungry adult is a cranky adult so make sure you eat, too.) Opt for things that are easy to transport and eat on the run. Vegetable sticks, apples dipped in peanut butter, cheese strings, Cheerios mixed with Craisins, easy-to-peel mandarins, hard-boiled eggs, and bananas, are all good options. Ten minutes of preparing snacks ahead of time can save the day.
2. Hydrate. Children need to drink a lot of water, not juice. If a child is dehydrated, you will experience a behaviour meltdown guaranteed. It starts with red cheeks, progresses to whining, slides into lethargic non-compliance, then the wheels fall off and the result is a full-blown tantrum. Always carry a canteen of water and make sure they wear a hat and take breaks.
3. Lay out the agenda for the day in the morning to give children an overview of what they are going to be doing. Its okay if the schedule changes, just communicate and let them know.
4. Always, always get your childs attention before you explain or ask them to do something. Use their name and walk over to make sure that they are seeing you.
5. Child-proof the environment. If a child breaks a Ming Dynasty vase because he was playing hide-and-seek in Grandmas living room, that is not misbehaviour, its an accident. It is the adults responsibility to make sure that the environment is free of potential accidents and that the kids arent doing things like drinking grape juice on white carpets. Kids are kids.
6. Speaking of curiosity, a bored child will always misbehave. Some kids may sit still more than others, but all kids need to run around and play. You dont always have to be out doing something, but there should be toys, arts and crafts, books, and games in your home.
7. A child without rules, with too many rules, or with inconsistent rules will misbehave. Let children contribute when you make up a few simple rules. Go over the rules when in a new environment or situation to remind them.
8. Give choices to avoid defiance and arguments. There is a perfect balance between providing structured guidance and freedom. If you can find the balance, you wont even face resistance.
9. Gently remind children of the appropriate behaviour youre hoping for. Example: You ask a child to sit on his chair so it doesnt tip. Next thing you know, hes gotten excited about something and is standing on it again. This is not a misbehaviour. Children are excitable and impulsive and they have an extremely short attention span. Say as a reminder, Chairs are for sitting on. I dont want it to tip because youll bump your head.
10. If a child does not respond to the gentle reminder, it is likely that there is a problem with the relationship between the adult and the child or perhaps something medical is going on. Counselling may be necessary to ensure that these social and emotional concerns dont escalate into bigger behaviour problems.
Danielle Aldcorn is a registered clinical counsellor at the Satori Integrative Health Centre, 12004 No. 1 Rd.
