Many parents struggle to connect with their teenage children, especially when things are not going quite to plan in their lives.
That’s one of the reasons why registered clinical counsellor Danny Taylor was speaking at a virtual event hosted by Pathways Clubhouse earlier this week.
Understanding teenagers is no easy task and invites plenty of confusion and frustration for both adults and teens.
The free online event, called “Connecting with your teenagers: A fresh look at adolescence,” offered advice on how parents can best support the young people in their lives and hopefully “creating space for sincere connection.”
“With so much unpredictability right now, it can be challenging to know how to support teens when many of us are struggling ourselves,” said Taylor.
“But by embracing creativity, diversity, beauty and dialogue, we can adjust our approach and take some positive steps to build stronger connections.”
British Columbians report feeling lonely, sad
The need to support the mental health of British Columbians has never been more apparent as more than seven in 10 British Columbians reported feeling worried, bored, stressed, lonely or sad, and 37 per cent reported that their mental health has declined during the pandemic.
Youth and young adults in particular have been disproportionately impacted by the pandemic, reporting higher rates of decreased mental health.
Taylor told the Richmond News that the path to understanding our children changes direction all the time and more frequently than ever.
“That’s the nature of the experience, it changes all the time; but it can be very circumstantial and personal,” said Taylor.
“And some 13-year-olds can have a clear picture of what they’re doing but a 19-year-old may not.
“It’s about helping people navigate those changes. We often get too behaviourally-focused, such as exclusively reacting to the behaviours we see.”
What's behind the behaviour?
Instead, added Taylor, what parents or caregivers need to be asking is, “What is actually going on behind that behaviour? What are the emotions?
“The trick is finding the language that can connect us. Relationship is key.
“Having the conversations, even if we don’t know all the answers is a good starting point for good things to happen.”
Taylor said the pandemic has changed the aforementioned path yet again for the mental well-being of our youth.
“It’s the new normal now and it’s not going to go back to the way it was. There will be ripple effects,” he said.
“If anything, the pandemic has brought us the cultural awareness of the mental weight of something like this.
“You can see adults struggling to make their voices heard and that can be the same for teenagers.”
