A Richmond woman is preparing to launch a non-profit support group to help men trapped in abusive relationships and marriages.
La Toya Barrington – who has talked openly about her own domestic abuse in the past – is putting together “The Good Guy,” based on the premise that “not all men are bad” and that “women can most definitely be the toxic ones in relationships.”
She hopes to advocate for men’s parental rights, divorce rights and more support for first-time dads.
Barrington said she spent some of the summer helping male friends navigate their way out of damaging marriages and relationships, often discovering a distinct dearth of resources either available or adequate to deal with the situation.
And, given that she has two young sons, age 13 and 11, she expressed concern for them in the future if they were unfortunate enough to find themselves in similar turmoil, with nowhere to turn.
“There is a real lack of resources for men dealing with domestic abuse, big gaps in the services,” said Barrington, who runs an award-winning cleaning business in Richmond.
“I have been trying to find resources for my friends but pretty much came up empty-handed.
“The stuff out there is mostly for domestic abuse support and is mostly focused on women. There’s stuff for sexual abuse (for men) but very little for mental or physical abuse.
“If my two boys end up in toxic situations as adults, they will have nowhere to go, unless someone does something about it now.
“God forbid if my daughter ends up in that situation there is plenty of help out there for her.”
Advocating for men stuck in abusive relationships
Barrington said she is still gathering information and feedback from the community, but hopes to launch The Good Guy website soon.
She said, ultimately, wants it to be a place for people to connect and maybe find resources, or unearth them, as well as advocating for more help.
“Men shelters don’t accept children, but women’s shelters do,” added Barrington.
“And a soon-to-be dad doesn’t really have many resources or places to go to either, women do.
“One friend thought about committing suicide because he couldn’t see a way out of an abusive marriage. She was saying she was going to bankrupt him.
“The suicide rates in Canada are staggering among men, they are so high.”
Barrington said she has received a ton of support, from men and women, since reaching out on social media a couple of weeks ago.
Barrington accused of hating women
But, as is always the case with social media, there are few negatives.
“I’ve been told by other women that I clearly hate women,” said Barrington.
“One woman questioned why I, as a woman, was fighting for men’s rights, asking why the men are not standing up for themselves.
“One even said men wouldn’t need parenting classes if they were married? Of course, that made absolutely no sense, but I’m not going to get into fights with these strangers and I know it comes with the territory of social media and sticking your neck out.”
If you are a male, or identify as a male, and have suggestions for Barrington and her non-profit, she wants to hear from you.
“Are there programs you wish to see, is there knowledge and support you wish you had had?” she added.
She invites people to email her at [email protected]
