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Taking a stand against big, bad bullies

Martial arts black belt will reveal secrets in one-off class

Lori OConnell knows all too well the hurt and pain of being bullied.

Growing up in Ottawa, she vividly recalled her male classmates humiliating her in front of crowds of kids and making fun of her.

I didnt have many close friends in my classes and so I was a good target for bullies, said the 36-year-old of the emotional abuse she endured for years. Between Grades 5 and 8, the boys really liked to pick on me.

I felt powerless, like I had no one to turn to.

An especially devastating act of bullying happened when a group of boys decided to throw her in a garbage can. It wasnt until she found sports that OConnell was able to stand up for herself.

I took up fencing in high school and did it competitively, said OConnell. It boosted my confidence and made me stronger.

But it was the Japanese martial arts form of jiu-jitsu that changed her life.

When I took up jiu-jitsu, I was 16 and it taught me discipline and confidence and Ive never looked back, she said, adding shes been teaching for more than six years now.

Today, OConnell owns and operates Richmonds Pacific Wave Jiu-jitsu. The head instructor is giving back by hosting a fundraiser dubbed Take a Stand, a bully-proofing and self defense class for youth ages nine to 12, benefiting the Kids Help Phone Canadas only toll-free, 24-hour, bilingual and anonymous phone and web counselling service for youth.

OConnell said that age group is typically when the bullying begins.

I spoke to my sister, who teaches a split Grade 4-5 class, to discuss the effects of bullying on her students and what could be done to help, said OConnell, who did a lot of research to prepare for this session.

OConnell is a 4th degree black belt and by fall, she hopes to have completed her 5th degree.

Take a Stand will teach children how to take responsible action towards teasing, bullying, positive conflict resolution strategies, and a number of simple, low level force solutions for self defense, added OConnell.

When I speak about solutions, one of the most effective ways to escape a bully is a kick in the shins, she added. I will speak about when it is appropriate to use force and when it isnt.

OConnell went on to say that she hopes by running this bully-proofing class she can empower children to handle these kinds of issues assertively, helping them to grow up as confident adults with positive mental attitudes.

During the two-hour lesson, children will also take part in some role-playing situations.

Im going to mix it up, give them a break and hopefully get a dialogue going, said OConnell.

Take a Stand runs Monday, Aug. 27 from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Pacific Wave Jiu-jitsu School, 140-12811 Clarke Place. Participation is by donation, with a minimum of $20 per student. All proceeds will be donated to Kids Help Phone. To pre-register, call 604-496-4467 or visit www.PacificWaveJiujitsu.com.