Have you ever had a mentor? I’ve had a few mentors in my life, and they’ve all made a huge difference. Now that I’m – ahem – a wee bit older, I try to pay it forward.
When I was in my early 20s, starting out in my career, I was very lucky to have two significant mentors. The first was a woman who saw my potential and hired me into a job I had very little experience for, and then proceeded to train me from the ground up. This was in the late ’80s and early ’90s, when desktop computers had just been introduced. She didn’t have a lot of experience with computers, but she had loads of experience in the job I was doing. Between the two of us we got the entire job computerized and vastly more efficient, accurate and trackable than it had been previously. Most of our communication was on the phone and I can still remember talking about so many things seemingly unrelated to work. She helped me realize I could achieve something that seemed insurmountable at first, but more importantly, she helped me keep my head on straight.
The second mentor was a man who sat on the board of directors for an organization I worked for. He was my boss in a collective sense, but he also pushed me to believe I could do more. It was because of him that I started my own business, which ultimately led to my freelance journalism career. He taught me a lot of practical things – it was the early days of Excel spreadsheets! – but he also taught me a way of looking at the world that made almost anything possible. He made connections for me that are still an important part of my life today.
I’ve had mentors in journalism, mentors in teaching and mentors in parenting and I’m grateful to all of them. None of them were set up as formal mentor relationships through any sort of program, but they all served the purpose of helping me create goals, holding me accountable, passing on their knowledge and creating connections. Research backs this up, showing the benefits of mentoring to include favourable outcomes in behaviour, attitude, health, relationships, motivation and career.
These days, I’m more of a mentor than a mentee, but it still pays dividends. It’s a completely different relationship, with different dynamics, than that of being a parent to young adults. I highly recommend it, for both parties.
Young adults are struggling. I remember when I was in my 20s, it was a struggle to afford a home and groceries. I can only imagine how much tougher that is now, with the housing crisis, the high price of groceries and an uncertain future due to climate change. Mental health is a significant challenge.
“Young people have faced unprecedented challenges over the past few years, and many are struggling with stress and anxiety,” Jennifer Whiteside, B.C.’s minister of mental health and addictions said in a news release last fall announcing new supports.
If you know a young person who is grappling with an uncertain future or who needs a bit of extra support, try acting as a mentor for them. It doesn’t have to be formalized, as long as it’s in a safe environment, like in a workplace or on a team.
One in five youth report having zero strong relationships with adults, even though those types of relationships are crucial to a successful life, research from the Search Institute shows.
If you see your own adult child struggling, maybe you could swap with a friend and each mentor each other’s young adult child. Take them under your wing a bit, paying special attention to their successes and challenges. Meet up for lunch once a month to see how things are going and really listen and share your own experiences. You won’t regret it and if you’re lucky, you may get to see them fly.
Tracy Sherlock is a freelance journalist who writes about education and social issues. Read her blog or email her [email protected].
